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:: Monday, July 17, 2006 ::
Good morning sayang!! I know you're going to read this in the morning since you're tucked in bed. And I know I promised to sleep, but I simply can't. This stomach of mine is playing its self-composed music. In simple English, I'm hungry! But can't seem to find anything to munch. Maybe I should just hop on down to 7-11 to get chips or something. Or maybe, I should just sleep. Hmm.. Later.
I'd like to say something out loud here. It has come to my attention that A'an & me have this "connection" or telepathy as we called it. Seriously now, its amazing! There have been many instances to prove this theory.
But the most unforgotten instance was when I was sitting across Far East Plaza, near the Old Chang Kee, with a friend waiting for A'an. As you all know, Old Chang Kee & Far East Plaza is divided by a road, and its quite a distance. A'an was walking towards the entrance of the shopping mall so I called out to him and amazingly, he turned to face me!! Please note that I didn't use the word "shouted" because that's not what I did. In fact, my calling out to him wasn't even meant to be heard. I don't know.. I just felt like calling. Even Ella, who was beside me, said that my voice wasn't loud enough for him to hear at the opposite side of the road. And when I asked him if he heard me calling, he said no, and that he just felt like turning. Amazing, isn't it?
And another instance.. Me & A'an just love smsing each other before we do something, eg before bed, when we wake up. Guess what.. We would sometimes sms each other at the same time!! I would receive his sms right after I sent mine and vice-versa. Okay, so maybe smsing at the same time before bed would be pretty predictable. But sms at the same time in the morning when we wake up?? Think about it. How do you even know what time your partner'll wake up? Brr.. Amazing, isn't it?
So.. Given these examples, it might explain why me & A'an came up with a "silent" game just now. We were just plain inquisitive. We wanted to know more. Okay, the objective of this "silent" game is merely to keep quiet, and let our hearts do the talking, and see if the other partner knows what we're thinking of.
A'an went first. He fell into silent mode for a few seconds before asking me what he have been thinking. I couldn't answer.
It turns out he was saying,"Fiza senget! Fiza senget!".
Damn.
Then he posed another question to me, asking what he was thinking of as he said,"Fiza senget!".
I answered,"Dancing turtle".
Only we know what is the hell is that. Ping! My answer's correct. One point to me.
See, see??
It was my turn. I played dumb for a few seconds too. Then I asked him what he thinks I've said in my heart.
He answered,"I love you forever".
Almost correct.
I was saying,"I love you, A'an".
See, see II??
Oh dear.. This is incredible. There are other instances too, which is just too much to be posted here. I can drone on & on about them. But I don't wish to. Just let it run in our heads & be a part of our wonderful memories.
:)
Sigh. Today was an emotional rollercoaster for the both of us. I don't know why but as I was looking at him in the eye, I felt like as if all along, no other men have ever stepped into my life. Like as if A'an was the first man I know. Its not funny, folks. Stop laughing. Its just.. I don't know. Why do I have this feeling? Have any of you ever had this feeling? Why & how does it even occur?
Life gave me too many problems. Some are solved and some remain unsolved. And loving A'an, is one of those unsolved problems. Not as if loving him is much of a problem to me. But its how much I loved him, is where the problem lies. Because I think this love has gone too far, that even a few hours of staying apart is unbearable. That was exactly how I felt earlier today. I just missed him too much that I felt like crying. Its so terrible.
Just imagine what will be if ever we were to be apart. Argh! I don't wanna think of such stuffs. But its playing around in my head. I am just so afraid of losing you, dear A'an. I just love you..
..too much.
@ 3:42 AM
