<![CDATA[
<body><script type="text/javascript">
function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) {
if(window.addEventListener) {
window.addEventListener('load',
function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false);
} else {
window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; });
}
}
</script>
<div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div>
<script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script>
<script type="text/javascript">
gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() {
if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) {
gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({
url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d25856216\x26blogName\x3dFiza+%26+An\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLACK\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttps://fizan22.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://fizan22.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d5926689805792880311',
where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"),
id: "navbar-iframe"
});
}
});
</script>
]]>
<![CDATA[
<body>
]]>
:: Wednesday, April 26, 2006 ::
Today's just one of those days when my inner self suddenly feels so lost & something is desperately clambering its way out, that something in me which needs freedom. Followed by the distressed soul's overflowed tears.
Its nothing serious, really.
Don't worry about me.
I'll be okay.
@ 1:19 PM
:: ::
I am now in a very gloomy setting & I wish to open up to everyone. Come. Take my hand & walk with me.
I'm a person who strongly believes that there will come a time in a relationship when the waves will come crashing, causing damage to every sparkle of hope there is in that bond. That wave which come to test the true strength of your love.
I tried though, so hard, to fight the wave. I stood firmly on the ground, letting the wave crash onto me, all the while still holding on. But I was caught off-guard. The moment I realise, I saw my love drifting away from me. Nevertheless, Fate has different plans. We didn't make it.
I never thought it would end this way.. I looked around at what's left. The damage done is.. Severe. Irreversible. And time, its such a cruel thing. Every second which passes me by drifts us apart.
But I didn't give up there. I slowly picked up the pieces of my broken heart, tried to fix it in any way possible but then I come to realise, some of the pieces are gone. Drowned in the storm. Those are the pieces of my heart which will never come back to me.
There was a hole where once stood a thumping heart so full of life. I don't know what to do with it. It seems lifeless, and of course, useless. I decide to flung it in the open sea but I stopped. Cause I'm afraid the pieces of my heart will somehow be found swept on the sand, and the thought of finding that small pieces to make my heart full again is what makes me hold on..
Right to this very day.
All that has happened between us, I can never ever forget. The conversations, those sweet written words, the smiles we exchanged, the kisses we planted on each other's cheeks & forehead, the caresses we gave, the hand-holdings.. All an assurance that we'll always be there for each other. But Fate has other plans, and I accept that. I just want you to know that the love I have once shown you, its still here in my heart. Nothing has changed.
We might or might not be together again. But what matters is, I still love you, the way I always do. Sigh.
@ 3:52 AM
:: Sunday, April 23, 2006 ::
Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan?
Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller : No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Operator : You are talking to someone! Who is this?
Caller : I'm Sam Wan. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.
Operator : I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?
Caller : Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noel Wan was involved in an accident. Noel Wan got injured and now Noel Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.
Operator : Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!
Caller : You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator : I'm Saw Lee.
Caller : Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!!
~*______________________*~
Get it? Get it? Wakakaka! Its so farnie tat my hands itch to post this up. Haha!
For u ppl who do NOT have a good sense of humour (and common sense), here's a little guideline to help u stagger ur way thru. Ahakz!
Annie Wan = anyone
Sam Wan = someone
Noel Wan = no one
Avery Wan = everyone
Saw Lee = sorry
Now go back up there & read it again. Lolx!
@ 8:03 PM
:: Friday, April 21, 2006 ::
I knelt to pray but not for long,
I had too much to do.
I had to hurry and get to work
For bills would soon be due.
So I knelt and said a hurried prayer,
And jumped up off my knees.
My Muslim duty was now done
My soul could rest at ease.
All day long I had no time
To spread a word of cheer.
No time to speak of Allah to friends,
They'd laugh at me I'd fear.
No time, no time, too much to do,
That was my constant cry,
No time to give to souls in need
But at last the time, the time to die.
I went before the Lord,
I came, I stood with downcast eyes.
For in his hands God held a book;
It was the book of life.
God looked into his book and said
Your name I cannot find.
I once was going to write it down...
But never found the time.
~*_______________*~
IF SOMEONE HAD A GUN HELD IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE AND
ASKED YOU IF YOU BELIEVED IN ALLAH, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
SAY NO AND FEEL ASHAMED THE REST OF YOUR LIFE? OR SAY
YES, I DO, AND DIE STANDING UP FOR ALLAH?
~*_______________*~
Funny, isn't it?
Funny how simple it is for people to trash ALLAH and
then wonder why the world's going to hell.
Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but
question what ALLAH says.
Funny how everyone wants to go to heaven provided
they do not have to believe, think, say, or do anything
ALLAH says. (Or is it scary?)
Funny how someone can say "I believe in ALLAH" but
still follow Satan (who, by the way, also "believes" in ALLAH).
Funny how you can send a thousand 'jokes' through e-mail
and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending
messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.
Funny how I can be more worried about what other
people think of me than what ALLAH thinks of me.
(Are you thinking?)
AMIN YA RABBAL 'ALAMIN
-FizA-
@ 11:03 PM
:: Thursday, April 20, 2006 ::
Have I ever told you
that if I sit really still and silent,
sometimes. I like to think
I can hear your heart beating
in time with mine?
Have I ever told you
that when I hear you speak to me
through lines and cords,
and bytes and ram,
I imagine
your voice,
whispering into my ear?
Have I ever told you
that I wait out each day
in anticipation,
wanting
only an hour or two,
just a second in space and time,
to feel close to you?
Have I ever told you
that there has been times,
when I ached for you,
ached for you so badly,
that the emotions overwhelmed me..
and so I sat and cried?
Have I ever told you
that sometimes,
I will reach out,
touching your image
on this cold screen before me,
wishing
I could reach in
and pull you to me?
Have I ever told you
that after the first time I heard
the sound of your voice,
thousands of miles away,
I sat up all night,
turning the conversation over and over
in my mind,
examining it,
like some newly discovered species of flower?
Have I ever told you
that I would give everything up,
just for one night
to be able to lay near you,
to feel your chest rise and fall
with each breath you take,
just to know that you are real?
Have I ever told you
that I dream of you often,
I dream of you reaching out
and touching my hand,
simply to let me know
that you are there,
and everything is okay?
Have I ever told you,
have I still yet to tell you . . .
that I love you?
*______________*
Found this somewhere. Check it out
Peace Out
@ 9:36 PM
:: ::
reali reali bored dat i reali reali think i should reali reali post an entry. each n evriday, there r surely something which managed to steal away my laughter. wen is dis ever goin to end?
shucks
sometimes i feel like givin up. im alive, but at de same time, dead. undastand? no?
nevermind
it takes alot to undastand someone lyk me. my life is always circulated by never-ending confusion. so be it.
im too exhausted to be taken in by what others' are stereotyping abt me.
im not desperate
i don go ard stealing other ppl's bfs
and indeed..
i wanna haf a lyf of my own. why cant u ppl juz let me be?
i guess it hurts u alot to see me finally regaining my personal happiness. if u so envy me alot, why don u try seeking ur own? find a hobby or something.
sigh
u ppl suck big time.
outta here
-End-
Fiza
@ 9:03 PM
:: Wednesday, April 19, 2006 ::
Sabar..
Orang yang sabar
Mulia kehidupannya
Ke mana pergi
Akan disegani
Rakan dan taulan
Tetap menyayangi
Biar cacian
Ataupun fitnah
Tak terhenti-henti
Menimpa diri
Harus tawakal
Penuh kesabaran
Insan yang sabar
Menempuh hidup
Akan diberkati Allah
Memang sudah
Menjadi Firman
sabar itu IMAN
Hidup di dunia
Banyak ragamnya
Tabahkan hati
Sepanjng jalan
Orang yang sabar
Dirahmati Allah..
~*_______________________________*~
~FIZA~
sealed wif a kiss...
@ 9:58 PM
:: ::
i felt soooo back. i regained "conscious" & rite nw i don feel as in de dumps as the last few days has been for me. its been 3 days, and boy, does it seem sooooo long..
met d juz nw.. cos we juz haf to talk things out, in other words,"clear our doubts" or rather, clear MY doubts. well.. at de sight of his face, i juz couldnt utter a single word. though i think i must have "practised & memorised" a few lines to throw at his face back at home but i juz couldnt say anything infront of him. i swear! i was practically dumb-struck. haiz. lets just put it this way.. I DIDNT TALK. okay lar.. a few lines of course.. n tat's tat. n de whole purpose of him comin down to meet me is to TALK! im sorry k d.. i made u mad. u were explaining urself silly & i was there nodding & nodding my head (not to mention cry!!) all the while. i look pretty silly, i shd say.. d sorrie yea.. u noe im de type who cries.. even over de smallest of gestures. (well.. less is more sometimes!) its de best way for me to show my emotions. don be mad, k? its onli natural..
okok.. i don wanna go into so much details lar. too private. juz wanna say dat me n d juz had de most wonderful conversation ever. thru de phone conversation we juz had, we tried to catch up wif each other; wat happened after all dis mess, wat we felt, wat we haf done, reflections.. u get de idea? if not.. forget it lar. its too complicated.
i asked him abt dis blog & wat r our future plans to deal with it. he preferred it to still be put up, so.. okaylor. i wont demolish it. so u ppl can still bask in de luxury of our tears & laughs k. okok. don expect too many happy stuffs in here lar. its mostly for our rantings. so there!
we finally voiced out to each other wat we haf been feeling all these while & i shd tell u.. i felt so good telling him all that im hiding inside. ryte nw i feel so empty - in a gd way. lyk sumhow i haf pushed de burden on my shoulders away. i luv dis feeling. wish i can have this feeling of "emptiness" all of my life.. but of cos i cant. there will b more obstacles ahead.. n i juz haf to be prepared.. no, actuali i need not prepare anything. im always caught off-guard.. so.. i juz haf to be careful of my every step lar. sigh. life!
okaylar.. i've written wat i wanna write. so i guess nw i can haf a peaceful sleep.. good nite, or rather, gd morning fellow readers. dear God, mama is awake oreadi. she'd KILL me for hogging de comp till de wee hrs of de mornin. holy sh*t! its 5:30am (SIN time). ahakz.. so long bloodsuckers!!
- end -
fiza still loves an..
@ 5:09 AM
:: Monday, April 17, 2006 ::
Never a final answer
Never a last word
Only taken for granted
My voice was never heard
I sat in the dark and write
Words that I cannot see
Only hoping that I can finally express me
I want to release this anger
I want to let go of the pain
To write simple words on paper
My peace I hope to gain
I write these words in sorrow
I write these words in vain
With not one evil thought of you
My love still remains
Holding on to questions
When I know the answers will not come
Only anguished cries of why
Beating in my head like drums
Will you ever feel remorse
For discarding me like trash
For shattering my heart like tiny shards of glass
For destroying my trust in people
For taking away my laugh?
- End -
~Fiza~
@ 10:49 PM
:: Sunday, April 16, 2006 ::
whoa.. my head's spinning sey, dunnoe hw many rounds oreadi. ahakz! woke up to de sound of knockin on my bedrm door.. opened it, n there stands before me.. SHEILA!! a gd fwen of mine.. whom i can easily confide into & i feel easy opening up myself to her. been awhile since we last saw ea other cos both of us r too involved in our daily activities so she dropped by to catch up. n yea, don worrie. she's seen my "juz woke up" face abt a million tyms oreadi n she doesnt mind - but I do!! she lyks to make dis kind of surprise.. suddenly appearing b4 my eyes. den i'd be lyk,"oi siak ar kau. tepon aku dulu arh sebelum dtg!!!". heehee! gettin used to it oreadi. =)
yest nite.. hmm.. haps gak lar tuh ek. went to town wif Mira, sat at CBTL Paragon, where I used to work at (so can get free drinks! heehee!). met d & yazid later on at cineleisure. we then set off to ecp, met ying, khai & fwenz. so wen "muster" da cukup.. we went to TUNNEL! d has been complaining dat eversince he was with me, he's been goin to tunnel a good num of times. (hrmmph! cannot issit?? cannot den don go lar! bluek!)
we ended our clubbing session at ard 545 am or so & set off to bfast at Mac. hmm.. quite a nite it was lar. but overall, i enjoyed spending it wif my d. in fact, i enjoyed spending everyday wif d.. (yealor.. we meet up everyday!! =) )
well d, am so touched by ur previous entry. want u to noe dat im veri much in luv wif u too.. in fact, i luv u so much dat i dun tink i haf any luv for myself. but it doesnt matter. i jus want u to b de happiest man alive being wif me. im not perfect.. no one is. i haf my flaws & so haf u. lets learn to correct our flaws & accepting it k? luv u syg.. will nvr in my lyf leave u.. its a blessing to haf u. n i thank Allah s.w.t. Alhamdulillah..
- End -
~FiZa~
loves an foreva..
@ 3:58 PM
:: ::
hi b..
postin here just to say dat i truly luv u...
i had some of my happiest times wit u....
n i never regretted a single time spent wit u....
:)
~An~
-Luvs Fiza 4eva-
@ 3:11 PM
:: Saturday, April 15, 2006 ::
sigh.. i juz woke up. immediately smsed my d.. later he'll get into his worry mode again. ahakz! mama woke me up at ard 9plus.. wanted me to change room, cos she wanna watch tv in my room. haiyah!! watch tv outside lar!! so i went to her room & slept again. damn cold in her room sia.. i kip hugging myself. (if onli u were here, d!) but hey, i tink i sleepwalked (or issit i don rmmbr walking?) to my room.. den i rmmbrd apis saying,"kau asal? giler?" for no reason. huh?! blur man.. wat did i do?? ahakz! confius..
d.. betta stop all dat ek. bets n evrithing.. hmph! don lyk de stinking habit.. (though i was an avid gambler once.. horses, soccer.. u name it.. heehee) ahakz! spend ur money wisely lar d.. k cyg? muuaahhh! (one big sloppy kish for u!)
now on de comp, juz finished chatting wif d on MSN.. i dun even noe wat to update sey on this blog. hmm.. sooo bored lar at hm. wish d would wanna meet up earlier.. im now listening to Tergamak Kau by Ukays. touching sak..:
"walaupun esok ada mentari
apakah secerah hari ini
harap begitulah dan moga mudahlah
perjalanan hidupku
berat benar langkah lena dalam pasrah
yang aku harap2kan tak kesampaian
ku tinggalkan semalam yang indah
sememangnya itu tak terduga
lamanya berkasih indahnya berjanji
sanggup sehidup semati
ucapan semalam kini berlainan
kau yg dulu ku kenali menjadi duri
tergamaknya hatimu sayang
menciptakan luka pada aku yang setia
dahulu kau bisik kalimah
walau apa terjadi, kasih tk berubah.."
n it goes on lar.. malas nk type panjang2. ahakz.. but i lyk dis song ler.. nice! n touching too.. hmm.. klar.. dunnoe wat to merepek oledi. catch u later lar.. (catch no ball!)
- End -
~FizA~
@ 2:21 PM
:: ::
gd mornin baby~
havent had a nice sleep like dis for soo long liao.. only boring part is dat i tak dapat mimpi psl u la b... haiZzz i woke up missin u so much seyy.. asal eh.. mayb coz smlm tak dpt spend enuf 'quality' time wit u tak baby??
anyways, an tak suker nenok bola... an tak minat langsung.. lol.. main bola bole la...but watch? and not bettin anything?? tak dapat.. confirm ngantok.. dats why left 15 mins after the game started?? lol
also.. im beginnin to NoT like n70.. asal la takleh pakai the 512memorycard.. ish... geram betol.. wel.. now i'll just laze ard at hm.. rest, relax, nap, eat, drink, sleep, tv, comp, chat wit b.. then malam baru kluar la..
dunno also nak gi ane tonite.. but 1 thing for sure is..confirm goin out wit my b..heehee
gotta stop goin to tunnel seyy.. ive been goin there since im wit my b.. but wat to do.. b likes it so much ovr there...
nvm.. will slowly pull her go out wit my fwens.. kekekeke : x
luv u baby..
will nvr leave u...
MuacKZ!
~an~
--missin u baby--
@ 1:11 PM
:: ::
juz came back from meeting d.. went to jb, pumped in de petrol & ate our dinner at singgah selalu (he had nasi goreng pattaya & i had de mee goreng pattaya.. noice!). after dat, d planned on gettin his car washed at de car wash but there were olreadi alot of cars so we proceed back to sg. got stuck in de traffic jam.. i tink for an estimated time of 2hrs or so. booooored sey! d oreadi so frustrated sey. cian diye.. nkmo marah2 ek? nnt cpt kerepot. ahakz!
we proceeded to my home area cos d wanna mit his fwenz. chatted for awhile den we went to de s-11 coffeeshop at 700+, to watch soccer. den d sent me home.. not much going-ons lar tonyte.. but nehmind.. bein wif d is oreadi so happening. hehe. okok.. guess i haf to stop blabbering lar. d wants me to stop playin wif de comp by 4am.. which is abt 10mins frm now. soooo... guess i haf to say tata for now! d.. LUV U!! gosh.. ur perfume is stuck on my hands. nehmind.. can bring to sleep & dream of u. mwah!
- End -
~FizA~ loves An
@ 3:39 AM
:: Friday, April 14, 2006 ::
my syg juz nw worried sey, cos i didnt msg or call him.. im asleep wat! ahakz.. but ridiculous kan..! i woke up at 5plus sey!! i tink cos i didnt haf much sleep lar. yest i slept at 5am den woke up at 8am tau.. 3 jam jek.. den at nite plak kluar.. onli got home dis morning ard 7 plus am. imagine lor how sleepy i am!! hehe..
hmm.. met d at ard 8plus pm last nite. went to town in search of his perfume. kesian d.. he didnt haf much choice sey cos as soon as we entered Robinsons (issit?), there was an announcement saying they r closing. so we juz quickly browse thru lar. stopped at CK, D kip on smelling de sample but still cannot decide. (my d so fussy.. i told dat to de counter asst!) so we went on to de nxt counter. Bvlgari.. but de lady there recommended us Issey Miyake instead. (Issey Miyake for men???!) de perfume is nice tau.. kinda mild for men's perfume, but all de betta lar. my nose wont hurt lar lyk dat. ahakz! and d haf a good idea tau (a typical sporean idea!). de lady promoting de perfume was goin on and on bout this perfume, and started to give us free gifts. so d proposed we stay longer. who noes she'll giv us more! hahahahaha! my d so cute! n yea.. he bought it. finally! after a few nudges & "b, u suke tk?", "b, sedap tk bau diye?". yeay!!
after de perfume-hunting, we went to md sultan to meet his fwenz. planned to go to DblO, but the queue was waaaaaaaayyy long sey. de end of de queue was at Blue Bistro.. and counting! prob cos today is a PH. fuh! so d & his fwenz planned lar where to go nxt. my fwenz oreadi pestering me to go to Tunnel (dangdut nite? not a single dangdut to b heard seyy!). so i psycho2 D lar.. told him to go Tunnel as well. ahakz! so we went to ECP, D & his fwenz gulped on their Jim Beams.. All noneng2 oreadi. Esp D.. he's reali one hell of a drinker sey. N he talks rot too!! Keeps on saying,"U dunnoe how much I love u.. u reali2 dunnoe" & "U dunnoe how much I've sacrificed jus to be with u.. u reali2 dunnoe" over & over again. Aiyah my sweetest darling.. i jus noe u loved me, but i reali dunnoe how much. it doesnt matter how much dear.. love is still love. I love u too.. And reali.. U dunnoe how much too. and for de sacrifices dat u made (known & unknown), i reali appreciate all dat. didnt expect u to blurt out all dat yest nite.. ure so sweet.. =)
d got reali reali drunk at Tunnel. haiz.. wont let him drink dis much, ever! so terok sey.. me n him ended up seating at a bench opp de beach. i let him sleep on my lap for maybe 2 hrs (?). woke him up at 6.. by den, he was okay abit lar. betta den his previous state.. huyung hayang, mumbling kinda way. ahakz! mcm robot.. went to Mac to haf our bfast. den he sent me home. luckily he can drive.. but he was sleepy lar. so i talk n talk (dunnoe wat i talk also!), didnt let him sleep. sampai gak aku kat umah. ahakz! waited for D to call me, den oni did i sleep..
D, u learnt something new yest rite? I learnt too! Catch no ball.. ahakz! D, d.. nvr fail to amuse me. with him, everyday is a new something.. i love u alot lar D.. more each day. mwah!
-End-
~Fiza~
Luvs An
@ 6:08 PM
:: ::
adoi! my head is still spinnin...
haiZzZ, sowi b bout yest... tak sengaje senget sikit.. heehee
eniwei, i learnt sumthin new smalam.. "ayam kambing daun" my b so cute la..
we went to town ferst yest nite go walk2 n find my perfume.. gi sane gi sini parkin sume full seyy.. in e end park kat cineleisure gak..
we walked all the way to centrepoint.. baru jek masok, dah ade anouncement.. we'll be closin in 5 mins.. tak baik kan... sigh.. but nvm... within dat 5 mins.. i managed to purchase my perfume.. olrite jugak la... issey miyake, alarr takleh concentrate ah tulis blog.. b... sumthin masok my eye.. so cakit.. :
after dat gi merayap jalan2... then baru gi ms..
kat ms pun lagik satu hal carik parkin... 3 kali round tawaf tu public carpark opp double o...
alar later2 baru update lagik.. my eyes hurt.. nak gi check my pitiful mate~~
-An-
~misses Fiza~
@ 2:02 PM
:: Thursday, April 13, 2006 ::
b!! :)
awww ur sooo sweet... cair i tengok dis blog.. haiZzz asal la u so sweet... makin cayang i kat u tau! i like the colours.. the layout.. the design.. everythin la b...
serious seyy.. i didnt expect u to put in so much effort on dis.. muackZ!! da 2 days tak meet.. tak sabar plak wanna c u later on.. nanti lepas i rest for a while.. i go bathe then we go out k dear..
anyways, arghh spent a lot on my car tyres.. wat luck seyy.. yesterday was reallyyy not my day..
no tix to aust, punctured tyre, heat rash, so much work to do... and worst, finished work late until cant meet u!! need i continue more?? nvm...~~
gonna redeem it all tonite.. heehee.. no smoke then no drink rite? :Þ
gotta compliment Gd Job! on the blog.. makes me wanna update everiday if i hv the chance.. luv u sayang~~
c u in a few hrs..
ddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
@ 5:44 PM
