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:: Wednesday, June 21, 2006 ::
Initially, I did not know why I was at the highest point of being especially restless today. Something tugged at my heart, as if trying to tell me something as soon as I got up from bed. Something just doesn't sit right somewhere.
I scanned for the newspaper, read a few lines or so, then proceeded straight to the.. Orbituary section. I checked the date today. I flung my newspaper aside uninterestedly, and turned on the computer instead, though I didn't remember feeling like wanting to. And again, I checked the date on the computer, as though I have just woken up from a week's slumber.
All that I've stated above.. It seems kinda weird, isn't it? It is! But I just can't brush aside the weird feeling inside of me. Well.. This is not me, definitely. Look, look.. I checked for today's date twice. And I vaguely remembered checking it once last night before bed. WHY???
Restless as I can be, I abandoned the computer & robotically went into my room, where I sat on the edge of my bed. In front of me stood the TV, and the arrays of photo frames which lined its top. I noticed the flutter of a newspaper cutting attached to a photo.. And as I stared at it.. I noticed its date : 21st of June 2004.
And then it struck me.
It was today, 2 years ago, that I lost my bestfriend to a tragic motorcycle accident. Both rider & pillion did not make it.
It is still fresh in my mind..
That night when the lot of us girls were gathered together, cycling along the stretch of Seletar Dam, whistling away, as happy as can be.. Neither of us have the slightest clue that tomorrow will be a totally different scenario.
The hospital visits were painful. The hospital bed & its unconscious companion lying motionless on it was the saddest sight ever. It was heart-wrenching. Tears gushed itself out everytime I stepped into the room & watched as my best friend struggles with her own life, with the help of a life-support machine. There was pain, I know.. Even in her sleep.. And I badly wanted to cease it, but I know I'm of no authority to do so. And that fact cuts through me so deeply.
Sasha left the ones who loved her dearly after days of coma. It was too soon.. She was such a lively, bright 17-year-old back then. Someone looking forward to school, someone who is the object of every man's desire, someone who loves to love. It was an unbearable loss.
It has been two years since she departed, but images of her is playing clearly in my mind. There used to be the three of us; now its left with two, Yaya & I, but she'll always remain a part of us. We're still the trios we were back then, not physically however, but spiritually & emotionally still.
I'm smiling now as I'm thinking of her, yet my heart cries as reality sinks in the fact that she's gone forever. I miss you.
May you rest in peace.
The long gone Sri Syahidah - Sasha (in red).
1986-2004
Also in memories of my dear friend, Muhd Faizal (1983-2004), the rider, who followed suit a week after Sasha's departure. May you both rest in peace up in the heavens.
Al-Fatihah.
@ 3:38 PM
